“There are two types of loneliness. One is when you know who you are missing, and the other is when you don’t.”
You, my children, are the second type. I wrote that quote long before I knew how much I would miss you, how much I would long for you, how long I would wait for you.
I waited for your daddy. I waited to be healed. I waited through daddy’s sickness. I waited for his restoration.
I waited through all the diagnoses and in hospital rooms and waiting rooms and recovery rooms.
I waited patiently and I waited in impatience and frustration. I waited through doctor's words and internet explanations and forgotten dreams and lost hope.
I waited in fear and anger and confusion and lots and lots of tears.
Then I questioned what it was that I have spent my life waiting for. “Wait for the LORD. Be strong and let your heart take courage. Yes, wait for the LORD,” Psalm 27:14 (NASB).
I am not told to wait for healing. And I am not told to wait for a baby. No, I am told to wait upon the Lord.
If I am to be strong in this waiting, if I am to find the courage that it will take, then I must wait on Him. As my hope is renewed, I am believing God to give you to me and daddy in His perfect timing.
I now wait in hope, in Him. I am so excited to meet you, to watch you grow, to be your mommy. Until then, know that I am waiting and I miss you already.
Love,
Mama
“CiCi” and her hubbins live in Colorado and are always looking for a new adventure. She has a passion for sharing her story to encourage others. She especially loves writing, taking pictures of life’s little joys, and borrowing other people’s kiddos as a nanny.
