October 26, 2011

He Leads Me

I stood in the choir loft between songs, my heart yearning to comfort the couples I saw coming forward as our worship minister asked for anyone with prayer needs to come to the altar. I wondered how many of those couples experienced infertility or child loss. “Comfort them, Lord,” I prayed silently, “Let them know they are not alone. Give them hope in you, Lord.”

Sunday after Sunday I wondered if the Lord was prompting me to start an infertility ministry. “Maybe I ought to say something to someone about this,” I thought weekly. Monday after Monday I forgot!

One afternoon I received a phone call from our church's women's ministry asking if I'd be willing to help organize or set up general women's ministry events. We were new to town and that sounded like a great way to get involved! I agreed to help out and was about to hang up when I hesitatingly said, “Actually, I'm glad you called...” and I shared of the Holy Spirit's prompting I had experienced in the choir loft.

Within a month I met with our church's counseling ministry, and as if God Himself had flung open the doors to usher me in, planned to start a group in the fall of 2010!

As the time approached, I became overwhelmed. What if the women came flocking and we had a huge group? Would I be able to lead such a group? A dear online friend experienced in these things cautioned me that I might find a lot smaller group than I expected. “Of course that might be true,” I thought, “but it's such a big church! My guess is that we'll have a pretty good turnout.”

Isn't it nifty how God ushered me in to leadership, my head filled with big hopes, and then sent me a sweet mentor to remind me that this was His undertaking and not mine? That He is the leader and not me. A good thing too, as our first semester's membership averaged about two women a week – including me!

By the end of the spring semester three of us met regularly. One conceived! Over the summer we switched ministries from the counseling ministry to women's ministry. A sweet, newlywed friend of mine who suspected she would have difficulty conceiving joined. Then I met another new friend at a party, and she joined. Then a potential co-leader joined! Now there are five of us - a little family.

I'm not sure why more women haven't joined us, but wouldn't it be like God to form this group for one lonely soul? Perhaps the whole purpose of our little group is to lead just one person to Him? Maybe the group is for me – to show me how to love and pray for others close to me, so that I can better serve and lead my children with whom God has blessed me. I don't know why God formed this group, but I know He did.

2 Corinthians 1:2-4 says that we are to comfort others with the hope with which we've been comforted. That's what we strive to do. In my heart, I know the ultimate purpose of our group is to point others to the source of all comfort – the Lord Jesus Christ. Adoption, conception, and childbirth may be by-products of this group. But more importantly, we are learning to look to Him for fulfillment and not to our life circumstances. I am learning this too, as God leads “my” group.

Amy is a lover of life, music, and yarn. She is passionate about open adoption. Amy tries not to take life too seriously - she once took a picture of herself wearing a tiara in the fertility doc's office - but she is serious about pointing others to the source of all comfort, the Lord Jesus Christ.

Author Website: Blessed by Adoption & Birth